Spring break means big temptations!

Well if theres anything ive learned its that I have yet to fully understand how people resist temptations. Tho I fully did not go back to my old self, i also didn't stay true to my new self. Eating bread and crackers were my big down fall. I had also gotten away from pop but found myself sitting there drinking my diet mt dew!! It is very very hard to stay strong when everyone around you is CONSTANTLY eating. One thing Ive realzed is just how much food has become an important part of our family and everday lives. Everything we do is revolved around food. If we want to spend family time, well that means someone cooks a big meal. If we want to sit down and play games, well someone has to go get the case of cokes and the chips and dip. Isn't it crazy how EVERYTHING revolves around food!!
My prayers is that God will release me from this same mindset and that I will be able to start a new trend for my family and future family!!

Quick Note: Its VaCa Time

Hey Guys!!
This is quick note to let you know where ill be over the next few days!!
BRANSON!! So you may or may not hear from me, it depends on my internet connection!
Update: Past 2 days have not been horrible just not as good as I would like!
I ate pizza tonight, even tho i didn't go over my calories, i still feel blah!!!
My goal: To keep being smart even thru vacation!! Although those turkey legs at the fair may be hard to resist hey no carbs hehe!! Always looking on the bright side of food :)

Here I am!!

SOO, Here I am, along with my water bottle in hand! Well not really because I type best with the use of both my hands, but you get the picture!!
After many plees and even a few people getting on to me. I finally decided i needed this blog. Not just because of the few of you that give me encouragment but to keep myself accountable.
So now for the good news:
I LOST 50 LBS!!!
YAH! It is very very amazing, although I have 50 more to go!! I am currently doing a 25 lbs challenge by my birthday. For those of you that do not know when that is.. SHAME ON YOU.. It's May 30th To be honest I am going to have to get my butt in gear because the last few weeks i have not pushed myself like i am capable of doing. That is partial why this blog is being integrated back into my life.

The latest challenge: Drinking Water!! A couple of weeks ago I got a major UTI and when i figured it out i had not drank a drop of water in 3 to 4 days. Therefore, I gave up the pop for my health! This is not some crazy challenge that I am going to beat myself up over if I happen to have one. My addiction to pop has been a slight increase to something that has come to control me. I even excused my addiction to pop, as it kept me from eating!! This is where I am still learning to be satisfied with one thing and one thing alone. MY SAVIOR!! Only He can satisfy my desires, feelings, and even my habitual motives for eating and drinking the things that i do.

Thank you for joining me on my next journey of stepping into a New me!!!
HERE WE GO AGAIN!!
I promise this time I am here to stay!!

By the way: lesson learned today, HOTDOGS are not a good diet food, LOTS OF CALORIES!!

Realization!

As I was rereading some of my post, I finally figured out whats wrong. I have never taken responsibility for who I have become or what I have turned my body into! I have blamed it on everything else, my emotions, my past, my present! When the truth of the matter is I am in control. I am the one who decides what I am putting into my body! I am the one who decides to workout or not to work out! Yes, i do have some motivation issues but now that I understand and realize that everything is put onto me, it slightly motivates me alittle bit more! I will not hit my thanksgiving goal, but I can continue to hit my big goal: 100 lbs by my birthday, that is still reachable and that is what I am reaching for!! I'd like to lose 5 move pounds by thanksgiving, which is attainable, and then I would like to lose 10 more by christmas and 10 my by my anniversary! If I am able to reach these goals I will be smaller than I was when Cody and I got together this time around! And it will be all down hill from that point.
My focus for today is pay attention to what goes into my body and to learn how to control it.

Going to be honest!

So I am still struggling!! I know what my problem is though, i'm an emotional eater: I eat cuz i am happy, i eat cuz i am sad, i eat cuz I am mad, and I eat cuz i am bored!! I can't stop eating.. I don't know what I am doing this for. Maybe i need to just get my stomach banded or stappled!!

Thank you!

I have to say thank you to a friend that made me realize, I don't have to lose weight to gain God's grace or love! I am God's child and all I can do is live my life loving and praising Him constantly!! Does this mean I'm giving up on my fight, absolutely not! I want to live every day to the fullest and praise God here on earth as long as possible so that people may see His everlasting love!! In order to do this I have to take care of myself!!

To be quite honest with you I have not done good at all the past week with my eating! Although if I compare it to about 6 months ago it would be considered wonderful therefore i take it as a step!! And just like my title says, im stepping into a new me. I'm not going to be magically transformedinstead I have to take the steps and let Christ lead those steps!
I need to learn to lean on Him, not on food!!

Who am I?

I lost who I am and Ive lost all my drive. But Im praying that God will give me something inside to give me just a little bit of fight!! I have made great strides and i know this, but for some reason I can not seem to change my life. That is why i suppose i stopped blogging, but i realized that meant i wasn't blogging for the correct reasons, i was blogging only to share the good and make people "proud" of me, but now its time to start blogging for myself and pray that somewhere along the line my friends and family will join and my struggle. I said in the beginning i wanted people to follow along with me as I cried and well im crying!! I don't know who I have let myself turn into except for someone I am not happy with, soo all i can do is fight to find that person i want to be and that person I know that I truly am!! I am a child of Christ and one that will continue to fight so that I may share my story and show His grace forever!