Here I am!!

SOO, Here I am, along with my water bottle in hand! Well not really because I type best with the use of both my hands, but you get the picture!!
After many plees and even a few people getting on to me. I finally decided i needed this blog. Not just because of the few of you that give me encouragment but to keep myself accountable.
So now for the good news:
I LOST 50 LBS!!!
YAH! It is very very amazing, although I have 50 more to go!! I am currently doing a 25 lbs challenge by my birthday. For those of you that do not know when that is.. SHAME ON YOU.. It's May 30th To be honest I am going to have to get my butt in gear because the last few weeks i have not pushed myself like i am capable of doing. That is partial why this blog is being integrated back into my life.

The latest challenge: Drinking Water!! A couple of weeks ago I got a major UTI and when i figured it out i had not drank a drop of water in 3 to 4 days. Therefore, I gave up the pop for my health! This is not some crazy challenge that I am going to beat myself up over if I happen to have one. My addiction to pop has been a slight increase to something that has come to control me. I even excused my addiction to pop, as it kept me from eating!! This is where I am still learning to be satisfied with one thing and one thing alone. MY SAVIOR!! Only He can satisfy my desires, feelings, and even my habitual motives for eating and drinking the things that i do.

Thank you for joining me on my next journey of stepping into a New me!!!
HERE WE GO AGAIN!!
I promise this time I am here to stay!!

By the way: lesson learned today, HOTDOGS are not a good diet food, LOTS OF CALORIES!!

Realization!

As I was rereading some of my post, I finally figured out whats wrong. I have never taken responsibility for who I have become or what I have turned my body into! I have blamed it on everything else, my emotions, my past, my present! When the truth of the matter is I am in control. I am the one who decides what I am putting into my body! I am the one who decides to workout or not to work out! Yes, i do have some motivation issues but now that I understand and realize that everything is put onto me, it slightly motivates me alittle bit more! I will not hit my thanksgiving goal, but I can continue to hit my big goal: 100 lbs by my birthday, that is still reachable and that is what I am reaching for!! I'd like to lose 5 move pounds by thanksgiving, which is attainable, and then I would like to lose 10 more by christmas and 10 my by my anniversary! If I am able to reach these goals I will be smaller than I was when Cody and I got together this time around! And it will be all down hill from that point.
My focus for today is pay attention to what goes into my body and to learn how to control it.

Going to be honest!

So I am still struggling!! I know what my problem is though, i'm an emotional eater: I eat cuz i am happy, i eat cuz i am sad, i eat cuz I am mad, and I eat cuz i am bored!! I can't stop eating.. I don't know what I am doing this for. Maybe i need to just get my stomach banded or stappled!!

Thank you!

I have to say thank you to a friend that made me realize, I don't have to lose weight to gain God's grace or love! I am God's child and all I can do is live my life loving and praising Him constantly!! Does this mean I'm giving up on my fight, absolutely not! I want to live every day to the fullest and praise God here on earth as long as possible so that people may see His everlasting love!! In order to do this I have to take care of myself!!

To be quite honest with you I have not done good at all the past week with my eating! Although if I compare it to about 6 months ago it would be considered wonderful therefore i take it as a step!! And just like my title says, im stepping into a new me. I'm not going to be magically transformedinstead I have to take the steps and let Christ lead those steps!
I need to learn to lean on Him, not on food!!

Who am I?

I lost who I am and Ive lost all my drive. But Im praying that God will give me something inside to give me just a little bit of fight!! I have made great strides and i know this, but for some reason I can not seem to change my life. That is why i suppose i stopped blogging, but i realized that meant i wasn't blogging for the correct reasons, i was blogging only to share the good and make people "proud" of me, but now its time to start blogging for myself and pray that somewhere along the line my friends and family will join and my struggle. I said in the beginning i wanted people to follow along with me as I cried and well im crying!! I don't know who I have let myself turn into except for someone I am not happy with, soo all i can do is fight to find that person i want to be and that person I know that I truly am!! I am a child of Christ and one that will continue to fight so that I may share my story and show His grace forever!

Im not sure I understand!

I am not sure I understand why my scale is slowing crepping up! I guess it is time to reevaluate myself. I am very frustrated right now and I have got to learn to control that frustration so that it does not turn into "food". It is time to bust my behind!!!! My dear friend and I are working on forty pounds before we get a HUGE probably the most AMAZING award! So today, will be the first for us to start!! Let's get busy!!!:)

Here We Go Again!

So after a few chit chats, speeches, long talks, etc. I realized I had lost sight as to why i created this blog. I created this blog to be open and honest with my followers about my weightloss journey! I created this blog in hopes to encourage others along my walk! I created this blog in order to keep myself accountable!! I have not done any of these! I quit writing for the past few weeks because I let myself hide back into the old me. Instead of rejoicing in the weight I had lost and continuin in my new life style, i let "life" take ahold of me and take me under. But..

Here I am and here we go again! I'm reminded that this is a life change plan not a weight loss plan! I am doing this for myself so that I may someday love who I am inside and out! I am doing this for my children so that they can have a mom for years to come and one who doesn't have health issues due to weight, a mom that will play soccer with her children, or simply get down on the floor and not have to worry about my knees or back hurting. A mom with energy to keep up with her two boys! I am doing this for my husband so that we can take hikes, ride bikes, and someday i will simply beable to sit on his lap and let him hold me!

Most importantly I am doing this for the one I love: God! He created me beautifully in every way and I have lost sight of that! I am his creation and its time that I learn to enjoy this beautiful life! Instead of taking joy and pride in this body that God gave me, I have filled it with filth and disgust.

Sooo all this to say!! Here We Go AGAIN, and this time, i hope to bring you along all the way:)